Congratulations, you've found your way to my professional modeling page.

This is still a photo-realistic representation of my overall essence sans crooked bangs.

This is a paper I wrote on the physics of the hit film Surf Ninjas starring Leslie, Nielsen, Rob Schneider and Tone Loc.

I received a solid B for my efforts…but also received the respect and adoration of the entire faculty when I applied Newton’s second law to calculate the force of two katana-wielding teens shredding pipe on a longboard.

I get uncomfortable talking about myself extensively if I can’t draft off of Farmer's Only dating profiles or the more compelling parts of ICP: Behind the Paint.

For more useful information about what I have been doing the last decade, you can check it out here.